I must be too annoying 4 u.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
