nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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