We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
