tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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