That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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