3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
