North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
