porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
