after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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