When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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