I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
