I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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