the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
