Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
