How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
