Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
