last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
