I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
