bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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