well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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