Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
