first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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