I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
