he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
