Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
