someone get that fucking seahorse.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
