cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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