How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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