sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
