Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i came on her dog
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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