Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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