North Korea, Best Korea!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Randomize
