i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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