we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
