Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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