guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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