His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
