I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize