And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
