I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
