I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
