No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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