My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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