Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Naked. naked and bneed help.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
