Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
