mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
