yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
