Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I got inside last night via doggy door
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
