alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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