everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
