Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
sex in a hospital.. check
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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